Happy 2013, Y'all!
by Adam & Lara on 01/06/13
Lara's sister Anne showing us the Texas peace sign, which in Texas means "2 chicken fried steaks, y'all."
Happy 2013 folks. Hope you've been keeping up with those new year resolutions. Let's face it, those Shake Weights aren't going to pull themselves out of the closet and jerk themselves back and forth endlessly towards your face! Nope, they need you to do that.
We thought we'd start off the new year in the laziest way we could possibly image. No, we're not going to eat our way through a 20 lb ham while watching the Lethal Weapon series on VHS. Did that last week. We're gonna share our most favorite video chat screenshots from 2012. And by "most favorite" we pretty much mean all. So if you didn't make the cut, CALL US AND QUIT BEIN' A DOUCHE.
We thought we'd start off the new year in the laziest way we could possibly image. No, we're not going to eat our way through a 20 lb ham while watching the Lethal Weapon series on VHS. Did that last week. We're gonna share our most favorite video chat screenshots from 2012. And by "most favorite" we pretty much mean all. So if you didn't make the cut, CALL US AND QUIT BEIN' A DOUCHE.
There's something about watching your parents interact with technology that never gets old.
It's hard to tell from the picture but Bonny is actually wearing that tiara in real life. She's retired now, and evidently that's what you do.
Adam has been working for Peak Design for the past year, and had to take way WAY too many conference calls with Pete while he was laying in bed in his unmentionables. Not sure what's going on here but Pete is loving it.
Startup culture is not all that different from the corporate world. You still have long rambling meetings where a few people talk and everybody else struggles to listen. But in startups we get to wear funny accessories and smoke flavored tobacco out of vaporizers. How Web 2.0 is THAT?!
Luke lives in London where monacles and bushy moustaches are commonplace, and pirate hats are quite silly, indeed.
When talking to the Annas, any lull in conversation is seen as an opportunity to pick up animals and shove them into the webcam.
K WAIT UP GOTTA SAVE MY WOW SCORE
Travis and Rod (congrats on the engagement!) got some really neat pillows that totally tied the room together. They think the pillows look like Adam's beard. Adam thinks his beard is of unmatched fluffiness.
When you're hanging out with Ivy, Pete and Jojo in the garage, there's always a chance that creepy uncle J-Bro will pop in.
Sometimes our video chats go on for hours. Like that time Lara's brother Luke showed up how to make pizza...
He's special.
Or that time when we had a fat face contest with Brooke and Sophie...
Brooke won, making it her 7th straight title since Tahoe, 2007.
Keeks doesn't like being typecast as a straight-laced news reporter. She's actually very laid back and fun-loving, and in her spare time likes to fish.
Hope you enjoyed this filler material as much as we enjoyed slopping it together before going to watch NFL playoffs. Looking forward to our next post, when we smear some more sticky globs of fun-time butter on this crispy brown blog toast.
Dat's nasty.
Merry Chrimbus!
by Adam & Lara on 12/26/12
Merry Chrimbus from Australia!
Traditional Australian Christmas Decor
We hope you all have had a fantastic day of socially acceptable binge drinking/eating. We spent our Chrimbus with the wonderful people of 115 Easey Street, inviting other wayward orphans to join. The result was fun, and gradually more messy as the night went on. I'm sure pics of that will sprout up on Facebook eventually. But we want to give you something different here:
Looking forward to 2013, the year in which the Mayan calendar predicts blogging will reach total obsolescence.
Happy Birthday Jim!
by Adam & Lara on 12/05/12
For those of you who don't know Jim Saraceno, let me give you a brief introduction:
Jim, the videographer.
Jim, the animal lover.
Jim, the lighthearted prankster.
Jim, the birthday princess.
Anyway, happy birthday big guy! Hope you and mom are out getting crunk!
OMG ARE YOU ALRIGHT
by Adam & Lara on 12/03/12
Oh. My. God. Are you okay? You must have been sitting here for hours... days... weeks... 8 AND A HALF MONTHS?!
Okay, you're mad. We get it. We left you here, like a poodle in a station wagon, to fry in the summer heat while we were carelessly meandering about the new Westfield Plaza, stuffing Auntie Ann's pretzels in our faces like poodles in station wagons. But seriously, it's not like that.
We've been busy doing awesome shit.
We want to win back your trust. No, we're not going to shower you with gifts, unless you consider talking about ourselves a gift. But we will talk to you more. We'll be here for you, we promise. Here to share stuffs. 'Stralyah stuffs and other stuffs. Is gonna be fun. Here is stuffs:
Lara got short hair.
Adam sat in chair.
Lara butchered animals and looked rad.
Adam squeezed out 'roo salami and wore plaid.
Lara made friends with monkeys.
Adam and Shane danced like honkies.
Adam cheered for Yadi in Nepal.
Lara got a hand so she wouldn't fall.
Adam got crazy with a spooner.
Lara met her relatives on a schooner.
And that brings us to where we are now. And all of you chunder buckets reading this have been pretty busy too... WHERE'S YOUR BLOG POSTS AT?
Bonny retired to a life of Zumba, cosmopolitans and attacking house guests with Tide Sticks. Mary Jo and Joe got engaged. So did Molly and Warren, and Becky and Aaron. So did Louie. Rivi and Alex got up the duff. So did Angie and David, and Rohit and Dimple, and Danielle and David, and Lindsay and Dan. Eric and Lydia got married. Luke and Kira got married and bought a house. J-Bro also bought a new house according to Facebook, but we're still waiting for confirmation. John and Karen picked it up and moved it all the way out to Sonoma. Kira got a new job. So did Anna. And all the while Anne's been hanging out with A-list celebrities.
So there you go. Blog is back. We're back. And we STILL GOT IT BABY.
For now at least.
Bonny retired to a life of Zumba, cosmopolitans and attacking house guests with Tide Sticks. Mary Jo and Joe got engaged. So did Molly and Warren, and Becky and Aaron. So did Louie. Rivi and Alex got up the duff. So did Angie and David, and Rohit and Dimple, and Danielle and David, and Lindsay and Dan. Eric and Lydia got married. Luke and Kira got married and bought a house. J-Bro also bought a new house according to Facebook, but we're still waiting for confirmation. John and Karen picked it up and moved it all the way out to Sonoma. Kira got a new job. So did Anna. And all the while Anne's been hanging out with A-list celebrities.
So there you go. Blog is back. We're back. And we STILL GOT IT BABY.
For now at least.
THIS JUST IN: We're taking a vacation.
by Adam & Lara on 03/21/12Alas, living on Easey Street has taken it's toll. We're up to our marsupiums in naked bike rides, yoga classes, all-female recreational squash leagues and all those other stressful realities of everyday life. HOLIDAY TIME!
We're going on a trip. First to the Great Ocean Road, then to Tasmania, and then to Western Australia. We'll be gone for 2 weeks with limited access to email and voicemail. If we owe you anything, Jim Saraceno is the guy you're looking for.
We're also looking forward to seeing this guy:
Fig.1: THE SHANE TRAIN
Fig. 2: August A. Busch VI
But seriously though, Adam didn't hang out exclusively with douchebags in high school.
Consider this our out-of-office message.
And now for the full frontal nudity you've been waiting for!
by Adam & Lara on 03/18/12If you're reading this blog you're probably friends with Adam and Lara on Facebook. This post is for you. But before we get to the MANY PHOTOS OF NAKED HUMANS we'd like to have some words with those of you who aren't friends on Facebook...
- If you're not our friend but you're on Facebook, then you probably got here by Googling our names, in which case we know you're after us and we've already cancelled our credit card and moved to Australia. Furthermore, we don't think we should be obliged to pay $9.99/month because your magazine insert clearly said "10 casette tapes for the price of 1 with nothing else to buy EVER."
- If you're our friend but you're not on Facebook all we can say to you is that your judgement day will come, John Stanley.
- If you're our friend but not familiar with Facebook, then hello Grandpa Ernie and Grandma Dot! You can get to The Facebook by creating a new Microsoft Works document, typing "www.facebook.com," pressing the spacebar until the text turns blue, and then moving your pointer arrow over it and clicking the mouse button.
Anyways, our Facebook friends have recently seen some pictures containing more than just Adam's face. Namely his nasty bits, raucous regions, and/or party parts:
Those are 40 oz cans. Think about it.
A couple weeks ago, Adam participated in the Melbourne installation of the World Naked Bike Ride, called As Bare As You Dare. And if you know him well you can understand why this is right up his alley, since it's a hybrid of the two pastimes he loves the most: riding bicycles and exposing his genitals to thousands of complete strangers.
The best part was that you didn't even have to ride your bicycle the whole time.
The event was a demonstration meant to increase the public's awareness of cyclists on the roads. Come to find out, the subset of the public willing to ride a bicycle around buck-ass naked is also the same subset of the public who will happily protest just about anything. Hence we protested against cars, fossil fuels, nuclear energy, pollution, war, consumerism, negative bodily image, and de facto anybody trying to enjoy a sausage or calamari dish on Brunswick Street between 3pm and 5pm.
To answer the question I know you're thinking... it just sort of hangs out on whichever side of the seat God wants it to.
Embarrassment is not a concern when you're wearing a chick-piece.
300 people were bumpin' uglies on the streets of Melbourne, just not with each other.
Going stark naked was not the only option - some girls covered themselves with mud and some guys covered themselves with obvious overcompensation.
More Saraceno party parts here.
Happy Presidents Day!
by Adam & Lara on 02/20/12
Happy Presidents Day folks! After the big holiday season it's refreshing to be celebrating our first big secular holiday of the year - a day when we honor the people who have led our great country through ideals rooted in philosophy and logic instead of religious doctrine. After all, how could a melting pot like the United States ever be driven by the influence of a single religion? For Christ's sake, look at the colorful diversity of our 44 presidents - we got Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Baptists, Methodists, Quakers, Dutch Reformed (I didn't forget you, Marty Van-Bizzle) and even one wacky Catholic!
We thought that you might like to know what they think of Big-B Obamatron over in this part of the world. They like him. Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard likes him too. Sources say she like-likes him. Here's what the Melbourne Herald Sun had to say about Obama's visit in November:
Julia Gillard and Barack Obama are a touchy pairing. Their hands, like disembodied life forms, seek out the other's shoulders and backs. When such targets are out of reach, digits settle on forearms or the nearest available body part.
We can't legally quote the rest of the article because Intuit Websites hosting service doesn't allow pornographic content. But you can read it here.
'Stralyah Day
by Adam & Lara on 02/19/12Happy 'Stralyah Day everybody! We're pleased to be popping yet another fresh blog post out of the oven, a mere 5 weeks after our last blog post. Needless to say we're on fire right now. We're birthing so much nascent material from our brains that perhaps we should consider stuffing some Bayer Aspirin deep within the folds of our cerebellum (Lara and Adam share a singular).
"'Stralyah Day" is how they say Australia Day in these parts. Here is some other weird shit that comes out of people's mouths here:
- Mate (friend)
- Bogan (redneck)
- Root (hump; do the nasty; engage in baby-mekkin practice)
- Pissed (drunk)
- Budgie Smugglers (men's Speedo)
'Stralyah Day is a national holiday that every Australian celebrates and no Australian can tell you what they're actually celebrating. According to Wikipedia it's the anniversary of the day that the British put a flag up (they used to LOVE doing that) in Sydney and proclaimed that they owned specifically all the nice parts of this landmass.
In modern times, you celebrate 'Stralyah day by sitting around in your budgie smugglers and getting so pissed with your mates that you end up rooting some bogan that you meet at the park.
A beah bong? That's a funny noime for a thing loike that. Oid'a called it a Pissery-Doo.
'Stralyah Day was especially poignant for the Kiwis, who grow up amidst a heated rivalry. Tom was particularly overcome by the better pies versus better coffee debate (he maintains that New Zealand wins on both levels), and eventually fainted from emotional exhaustion.
Our full 'Stralyah Day photo essay can be seen here.
Oh Shit We're Awesome Again
by Adam & Lara on 01/09/12Since we left New Zealand we've been meandering around aimlessly trying to rekindle the blogworthyness of our previous lives. We used to climb volcanoes and jump off bridges and all sorts of other crazy shit. For Christ's sake, we ZORBed.
These days things have slowed down a bit. We just spent 45 minutes scouring Flickr for the craziest thing we've done in the past 10 months, and this is what we came up with:
Excuse me ma'am, you're driving on the wrong side of the bridge. Wait a sec, YOU CAN'T EVEN DRIVE ON THIS BRIDGE! WOAAOAOAOH!
Ahh, that was neat. But just not the same kind of neat you've come to expect from a couple of floor-humping, lamb-snugglin' earthquake survivors. And that's why we couldn't wait to tell you the great news: as of right now we are completely fucking awesome again.
You see, Lara just got a new job at a bakery. On her 3rd day of work the Fleet Foxes came in, commented on her crazy-delicious iPod selection, announced themselves as the fucking Fleet Foxes, and subsequently put us on the VIP list to get into their sold-out show. Boom goes the dynamite.
We were so close that we could literally smell the Apples in the summer, golden sweet. But then we realized that was just some weed somebody was passing around.
"Oh hey Adam and Lara, I hope you guys are comfortable in those free VIP seats. Why don't I play your favorite song next. What's that? You want us to put up a giant pulsating Incan-inspired disco light behind us? Done."
And finally, proof that we were actually there.
The rest of the pics can be seen here. For those leaving comments we just want to let you know that "jealous" is spelled the same in the Queen's English.
Mandatory Holiday Blog Post!
by Adam & Lara on 12/29/11
We really hope that you've been enjoying your Judeo-Christian holidays, and even if you're not Jewish or Christian, we hope you've enjoyed having the holidays shamelessly thrust in your face. It's not the worst thing that's been shamelessly thrust in your face, right Fogle?
Speaking of thrusting things in faces...
This stuff is kosher, right?
Either way, Adam's beard is kosher enough to let it slide. Let's talk Jeebus. We had an epic Christmas over here. Everybody got exactly what they wanted. Especially Tom.
Adam got exceptionally weird.
And Jacqui got Tom's presents that she bought for him, gun-lighter included.
Hanukkah was off the charts as well. Sans the 22 pounds of glazed ham that we ate for dinner during days 2, 4, 5 and 7, the rest of 4 crazy nights were spent in pious observation.
Poor planning forced us to spend Hanukkah just like the Maccabees of yore - huddling around a menorah made from a scotch bottle container and tea candles, wearing makeshift yarmulkes we found behind the couch. And now you, our friends, know the story of Hanukkah!
See you kids in 2012.
