How to get your face on this blog
by Adam & Lara on 07/09/10
How about we stop weirding you out with Japan pictures for awhile and talk about something that's at least happened in the last month.
Okay, it actually happened more than a month ago. But we're such interesting people that we're always about a month and a half behind when it comes to crazy stories about our adventurous lives. Did I say interesting? I meant lazy.
Here are step-by-step instructions on how to get on our blog:
1. Send Lara Velveeta Shells and Cheese
2. Send Adam chew and beef jerky
The first big winner is Brooke Stein. Behold:
B-Stein ain't no shiksa.
It's no surprise that Brooke is the first person to do something great and awesome like this. In fact, you can thank her for this shit-fest of a blog because without Brooke there would be no Adam and Lara. Story time!
Once upon a time Brooke Stein was moving to San Francisco and so was Adam. Brooke and Adam were friends in college so they started looking for a place together. Brooke knew another apartment-hunting betch named Tammi, and both of them loved Albert Pujols so naturally it made sense for all 3 to join forces.
From left to right: Tammi, Albert Pujols, Brooke.
They found a dope apartment located at 757 Clayton Street, an address that later became known throughout the city as "Studio 757." The apartment was spacious, it had a backyard, the landlord was an 80-year-old man/raisin-goblin who was a life coach and taught sex workshops, and it was right down the street from the Gold Cane (see first review).
It even had a man cave.
At the last minute Brooke bailed on the apartment, leaving Tammi and Adam with a 3 person flat and a non-refundable $500 downpayment, citing "I just want to keep looking" as the main reason. Luckily, Adam's old fashioned friend Pete knew a guy who was also looking for an apartment in SF.
Not sure why Pete is holding a bag of fruit - his apartment had a hanging fruit basket. It also had a wicker basket glued to the ceiling.
Anyway, Pete's friend's name was John Stanley and to say the least he was a little rough around the edges. But Tammi and Adam were in a bind and this was their only option. So Tammi, Adam and John went on to live together in Studio 757. They lived there for 2 years and during the height of their power (known as the Yee Dynasty) composed the greatest Christmas card known to man:
Yes, John is wearing Budweiser pants. Yes, Tammi is wearing a Bud Girl tank top and boy shorts. Yes, Adam is completely naked.
In the meantime Brooke found some randos on Craiglist to live with in Russian Hill. Those randos happened to be Sam Jupponit Bartelloni and Lara Cirkovic. They all got along great because they shared a love for Velveeta Shells and Cheese.
Lara (guitar) and Sam (mic) also shared a love for holographic 80's cartoon rock. They are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
Not suprisingly, Brooke, Lara and Sam all got evicted about 8 months later. According to them their "landlord was selling the building" and it had nothing to do with their rooftop pot farm. Anyway the three of them ended up moving right around the corner from Studio 757, into a quaint little bungalow called Casa De Carl. Because of their close proximity, it didn't take long for Adam and Lara to hit it off. And by "hit it off" I mean "became friends," because Adam's initial attempts to hit on Lara were completely struck down. But it worked out in the end, obviously - I mean you're reading our blog right now.
Actually, at this point you're probably just looking at the pictures.
So today we salute you Brooke Stein, for all you've done for us.
As for the rest of you, step it up. It's amazing how quickly a blog can become a vehicle for smack talk.
