Oyster Skanks
by Adam & Lara on 12/10/10
Adam and Lara went to New Zealand and 9 months later the oysters have herpes.
For reals. A strand of herpes has killed off about 10% of the adult oysters and over 50% of the juvenile oysters in New Zealand's North Island.
Are we worried that the oysters got herpes from us? Absolutely not. But for reasons that will remain unnamed Adam was slightly scared that he might get herpes from the oysters. Tests have proved otherwise, thank goodness.
The real travesty here is that scientists are blaming this on global warming. We're not here to say whether or not global warming plays a factor, but what we are saying is that we can't turn a blind eye to shellfish promiscuity. That's right, oyster skanks. These oysters - especially the young ones - think that life is one giant shuck-fest. And in today's briny deep, the consequences for flapping your pearls about town are dire. Consequences are also red, slightly raised and extremely itchy.
Wait a sec... this just in... the real travesty is that the Oyster Industry Association chairman is named Callum McCallum. What a toolbag.
Are we worried that the oysters got herpes from us? Absolutely not. But for reasons that will remain unnamed Adam was slightly scared that he might get herpes from the oysters. Tests have proved otherwise, thank goodness.
The real travesty here is that scientists are blaming this on global warming. We're not here to say whether or not global warming plays a factor, but what we are saying is that we can't turn a blind eye to shellfish promiscuity. That's right, oyster skanks. These oysters - especially the young ones - think that life is one giant shuck-fest. And in today's briny deep, the consequences for flapping your pearls about town are dire. Consequences are also red, slightly raised and extremely itchy.
Wait a sec... this just in... the real travesty is that the Oyster Industry Association chairman is named Callum McCallum. What a toolbag.
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