Potty Talk

Japan has some of the greatest and worst toilets (loos) in the world.

The good toilets are the product of 5000 years of innovation in pee/poo technology. The seats are heated and raise and lower automatically or with the press of a button. When you're finished with your business a little wand sticks out from beneath you and sprays you with a stream of water, and you typically have some sort of remote control to manage the water pressure and temperature.  It is basically heaven, and it extended Adam's average toilet time from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours.

It doesn't look like much on the outside, but it's what's beneath the seat that counts.


This was the only toilet control we saw in Japan that had English labels on it. And believe us - it's incredibly nerve-wracking to "wing it" when controlling a robot that has water jets aimed at your privates. Also note that this remote control has a larger screen than most cellphones.

The bad toilets are the basis for nightmares. You basically have to squat over a hole in the ground the size of a loaf of bread. It's an easy thing to do, unless you are over 4 feet tall, over 70 pounds, or wearing any clothes whatsoever.

Haha, loaf.

Japanese refer to squat toilets as "Japanese style" and to throne toilets as "Western style," which is probably the worst branding decision ever by anybody.