Reason #13: Green Bay Packers fans
by Adam & Lara on 02/09/10
Happy Birthday Fogle! This one's for you buddy.
If you've ever played a board game with a 4-year-old (or me) then you can probably relate to watching a Packers game with a Packers fan. Illogical tantrums and foot-stomping when things don't go their way. Shrieking and gloating when they score, or when the other team doesn't score. Or, for that matter, when a player on the other team is carried off on a stretcher. It's immaturity meets lack of sportsmanship. And it is annoying.
I'll give them this - they are great football fans. They follow the game, know their facts and their loyalty prevails win or lose. I am a Rams fan, and that is not the case. When the Rams lose I chock the season up as a "rebuilding year" and go read the baseball scouting reports. When they win I get pissed that I didn't watch the game because they're probably going to lose next week.
But the Packers fans' candy shell of redemption quickly melts away to reveal the tough, chewy nougat of always-taking-it-way-too-far. Try interacting (let along living, as I did for 6 years of my life) with a Packers fan in the week following a loss. It's like hanging out with a lobotomy patient. They become droopy, pouty skeletons of their former selves, unable to lift themselves from the intense sadness that is Aaron Rodgers fumbling to an Arizona linebacker for a touchdown return. Granted that was really really sad. But by that logic Rams fans would have hanged themselves after SuperBowl XXXVI. But we didn't - we kept our heads up - and look how far we've come.
Maybe the Packers fans' erratic behavior can be explained through a poor diet. You'd be surprised how quickly the perkiness disappears from corn-fed blond Lutheran girls after they're stuffed with cheese curds and Spotted Cow for umpteen years. Or maybe the root cause is social isolation. As shocking as it sounds, there's just not much going on in the Green Bay-Oshkosh-Sheboygan tri-metro area. Either way, I'm over it.
That's why we're moving to a non-isolated country known for it's healthy diet and mild sports manner.
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