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When Hairy Met Scalpy

by Adam & Lara on 09/29/10

Adam here, the hairier of the two authors of this blog... or so your memory recalls.

About 2 months ago hair started falling out of my head in big clumps, leaving me with 2 cricket-ball-sized (between the size of a squash ball and a jai-alai ball) bald spots connected by a sparse tundra of thin hairs.

It actually looks pretty good here, but trust me I looked like the Tales From The Crypt guy.

According to the doctor I had a yeast infection on my scalp that would continue to make my hair fall out if untreated, and even if it was treated, it would continue to give my friends from the States punch-line material for up to 10 years.

According to my coworkers I was just going bald in an extremely abrupt and hilarious way, and I needed to accept it.

According to Method Man, herb got my wig fried like a bad perm.

What the blood, clot?

So I began a treatment that involved taking antibiotics, rubbing steroid lotion onto my scalp twice a day, and washing my hair with brown-colored shampoo that smells like coal tar. That didn't work so I bought a new awesome hat. That only worked when I had my hat on - the rest of the time I had bald spots plus hat hair, which according to one of my coworkers made my hair look like "the hair of a dead corpse that has been rotting for a few days in a moist environment." In a last ditch effort to fix the problem I tried this:

Like all the best hairstyles, the Double Fem-Bob looks great but can't stand up to the toils of everyday life.

Fuck that, I'm shaving.

I borrowed my roommate's clippers knowing damn well what he uses them to clip. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Maybe I just started shaving my head. Maybe I just threw a dead body into a mulcher. You be the judge.

Some hipsters actually have back-mullets in New Zealand. But it's just a semantic difference - in Kiwi English "ironic" means "looks like a complete asshole."

At some point along the journey from styled to bald every man has a moment when they look like Woogie from Something About Mary.

Jewish Popeye.

People keep telling me that I look like that guy from The Expendables. Bruce Willis? Jason Statham? Stone Cold Steve Austin? Take your pick. No, you can't pick Mickey Rourke, a-holes.

Haircut buddies: Kim, Adam and Adam's forehead vein.

Comments (10)

1. Meredith said on 9/29/10 - 10:20PM

The shaved head looks good on you Adam!! you look great.

2. Jimbo said on 9/29/10 - 10:59PM

Well I'm sorry to hear it has come to that but I like the new look! I think you look more like Matt Holiday myself.

3. Bonny said on 9/30/10 - 01:51AM

I think you look more like Jim Saraceno now, and he's STILL the hottest guy at 910 Brownell Ave...

4. Will Klips said on 9/30/10 - 04:20PM

You'd think they could do a chest hair to scalp transplant, right? haha just kidding... you look good and significantly more aerodynamic. You were missed on this year's World Tour Turkey but there's always 2011 and beyond. Best of luck in the land of the hobbits!

5. Anna Sassareno said on 9/30/10 - 09:45PM

I think you look good with a shaved head! Did you know that yeast infections happen in vaginas and that means your head is a vagina?

6. Anna VanDiesel said on 9/30/10 - 10:44PM

We can be shaved head buddies now! Holla!

7. Jan said on 10/1/10 - 11:44AM

Rock on baldy! From yeast to hair feast! How come this blog is so friggin' awesome?! Every week I check it. And bomb! Your posts make my day! So, here's a shout out to you vagabonds and kiwis in training! Keep it up, keep it real, keep it in our collective face! Peace!

8. Adam said on 10/1/10 - 02:48PM

thanks for the support! let it be known that my head is not a vagina. but, i could have gotten a yeast infection on my scalp by sticking my head in a vagina.

9. Noreen said on 10/4/10 - 01:59PM

I love your new do. I think you look like Justin Timberlake and that bald retired tennis player who started a school, I can't remember his name. Have a great birthday!!!

10. bstein said on 10/5/10 - 10:35PM

my forehead vein says hello to your forehead vein

Leave a comment

« Pardon us, but you... | Main | We Got Bartellonied »

1.	Meredith said on 9/29/10 - 10:20PM
	The shaved head looks good on you Adam!! you look great.
2.	Jimbo said on 9/29/10 - 10:59PM
	Well I'm sorry to hear it has come to that but I like the new look! I think you look more like Matt Holiday myself.
3.	Bonny said on 9/30/10 - 01:51AM
	I think you look more like Jim Saraceno now, and he's STILL the hottest guy at 910 Brownell Ave...
4.	Will Klips said on 9/30/10 - 04:20PM
	You'd think they could do a chest hair to scalp transplant, right? haha just kidding... you look good and significantly more aerodynamic. You were missed on this year's World Tour Turkey but there's always 2011 and beyond. Best of luck in the land of the hobbits!
5.	Anna Sassareno said on 9/30/10 - 09:45PM
	I think you look good with a shaved head! Did you know that yeast infections happen in vaginas and that means your head is a vagina?
6.	Anna VanDiesel said on 9/30/10 - 10:44PM
	We can be shaved head buddies now! Holla!
7.	Jan said on 10/1/10 - 11:44AM
	Rock on baldy! From yeast to hair feast! How come this blog is so friggin' awesome?! Every week I check it. And bomb! Your posts make my day! So, here's a shout out to you vagabonds and kiwis in training! Keep it up, keep it real, keep it in our collective face! Peace!
8.	Adam said on 10/1/10 - 02:48PM
	thanks for the support! let it be known that my head is not a vagina. but, i could have gotten a yeast infection on my scalp by sticking my head in a vagina.
9.	Noreen said on 10/4/10 - 01:59PM
	I love your new do. I think you look like Justin Timberlake and that bald retired tennis player who started a school, I can't remember his name. Have a great birthday!!!
10.	bstein said on 10/5/10 - 10:35PM
	my forehead vein says hello to your forehead vein